Having to change your best man or groomsman before the wedding

Grooms - being men - are supposed to be decisive. If the groom offers the job of best man or groomsman to a brother or a buddy, it's a contract that is very hard to break. But what happens if you want to kick out or fire your best man or one of the groomsmen from the wedding party?

Once you've asked a buddy or a brother to be a best man or groomsman, the vote of confidence in them has been made (not just by the groom, but by your bride as well, who tends to have a veto on groomsmen.) There's going to have to be a pretty compelling reason to get rid of the best man or the groomsman.




If your best man or groomsman is not doing something that is critical to his role as a groomsman or best man, that is certainly grounds for conversation, at a minimum. I suggest approaching your groomsman directly. That said, you should be giving your guys another chance to do right. They've got to get fitted for a tuxedo and show up to the rehearsal and wedding on time. They may even be required to make a wedding speech.

Sometimes, life intervenes - your groomsman may be in the middle of final exams, a cross-country move or starting a new job, you're right to ask if he can still commit to the wedding or whether there's anything that could get in the way of him showing up on wedding day.

It takes a really serious incident for the best man to lose his title. Only you know if this incident and/or potential future behavior qualify as reasons for dismissal. A criminal offense, or ticking off your bride, will always work, so tell everyone to mellow out and do your best to get through the days leading up to the wedding!